As the Earth turns

The world turned today...and against the turning I shut my eyes; shut them tight against the day, against all that I heard I refused to see. The turning knocked from their shelves the pictures and the memories that were just starting to re-find their home. For this turning has happened before. The world before has shifted on its axis and knocked all we knew to the floor. This time things have shattered. The feel the broken shards cutting into my feet. Where do we turn when we can barely move?

I am afraid. Afraid to leave and afraid to stay. I cannot ask questions for fear of the answers I might receive. Normalcy is gone so we quickly reconstruct a new one.

I walk down the street and I don't see the force that others' steps require. My steps are calculated, labored, and enduring. I take pride that the others don't see this, yet I want them to understand all the same. I walk my walk with frequent trips to the back of my mind where my troubles lie in wait. Do I gain strength from these creeping worries or do they slowly tighten the cord they have around my body while I ignore their cries? I invite few into that land of troubles, beyond the facts beyond the figures, where the fear lies in expectant fury. Will it pounce, destroying all I have built to survive and to hide behind? Am I ready for disaster or waiting for my own miserable loss of power?

The questions are the worst. They cause me to grieve that which I still have to lose and question that which is already gone. But where will I be when the questioned is answered and the truth splayed for all to see? Across the headlines my heart will sit as the Earth settles into its new rotation.